Job

As I was reading back over some of my posts, I realized I hadn't followed up on the issue with my job and my contract there. I know that you three readers that I have are sitting on the edge of your three seats but I'll let you know that last week they extended our contract for another year, so I am safe until October 2011. (Just kidding about the three readers... but I'm probably not that far off) I have read other people's blogs, but I can't say that I am a repeat reader, so I can't imagine that someone who doesn't know me that well is giving this page too much attention. But I suppose it is like a journal, and if my biggest scroller is me reading over my blog for type-os, well I appreciate it and it is enjoyable editing for me!

You brighten my life

I always find it interesting how we interact with people every day and we barely know them at all. Additionally, I have two children and this is a major part of my life that the people I work with never see and may not even know about. It is nice as a mother to be know for something other than being a mother and cleaning and cooking. But in the end, mothering is my job and I value it more than anything else.
Which brings me to my utter excitement to meld my two worlds and bring my daughter to work with me last week. She hung out with me from about 8:30 to almost 3:30 when I left early after I could see she was getting tired. I loved having her there with me and she brightened my day, my co-worker's day and the resident's day. The recreation department had a "children's fashion show / staff talent show" and that was my excuse to bring her in. As far as the fashion show, her and I just walked down a row of wheelchairs while all the old ladies looked at us and clapped. That one short walk was enough for me, but Gabriella seemed to be getting into it and wanted to walk down again. She was excited to go to work with me and the girly-ness in her was excited about the fashion show. Although after our walk-down and we were watching the rest of the very simple, amateur "show" Gabby asked me, "mama where is the show"? and I told her "This is the show". I think she had grander expectations.
All in all, I had a great day with her and I loved being able to share a big part of my life with my friends at work and to show Gabriella where I go when I leave her all day. It meant alot to me, and it would be nice if bosses were in favor of taking children to work, or if there were more excuses for me to bring her again. (Marco is a bit too young and would have needed a nap in the middle of the day so he wouldn't work out, but I'd love to take him in a year or two as well).
I kept one of the paintings she made me when we were in one of my meetings and taped a picture of her to it and stuck it on the wall of my office. I wrote on the paper, "You brighten my life".

Work

So things are evolving in my life I suppose. Tom has been wanting to go back to work, since he left I guess, and after all the arrangements and interviews he has started this week at a part time job in Louisiana again (not the same place we lived before). This means that one week he is there and one week he is here. A close friend of his will do the same and they will alternate weeks to give full coverage to the hospital. His friend will start there full time in July and his family is moving there. The hospital hopes we do the same and our decisions are a bit complicated, but will be based upon Tommy's health mostly- I am up for doing whatever is best for my family.
So anyway, week one of this is almost done and it has gone well for both of us. I guess it just makes me think I need a new job - I really don't need to drive almost an hour into the city to work full time especially when Tommy is pulling in a nice chunk of change with this new job- I just need to maintain good health insurance. I have kept my eyes open for a desirable opportunity - so far I pursued a full time job 2 min from our house and a part time job 25 min from our house ( bear in mind, this 22.5 hour one it is near all the things of food and shopping that I love :) The part time job is a really great out patient counseling position that would be a wonderful move career wise and the other is more management and acute care which is good experience as well. We'll see...
I also come to find out the facility I work at now has decided to terminate the contract with the food service company that I am employed by. If they are set on this despite my company's negotiation tactics, I will be either out of a job or relocated in 6 months. So I guess I don't feel so guilty for looking around for another job! Oh well, this is the economic climate these days especially in health care. It is really no fault of the team I work with it is financial and will be decided upon with our district management and the administration of the facility.

I have worked at this job over a year and it is very thought provoking for me to think about the first few months I was there - it was difficult because my kids got sick very often - Marco was sick it seemed every three weeks from April to November - it all got much better after that point, and it is easier now. I was still breastfeeding him then and pumping at work and Marco didn't want to drink any milk at day care... then Gabby would give me a hard time when I picked her up and didn't want to go home... but we made it through that and we are still kicking! Congrats to me, I say! Both of my kids love going there and I am happy with the choice I made in this home day care. Whatever happens with this job now, I know I will definitely take a way some very dear friends from this place.

Work Politics

So I passed my certification exam and I asked my big boss for a merit raise. He was quite discouraging in his response explaining budget reasons but I also realized that he doesn't have a clue what I do within his department. Nevertheless, I gave him my request and I waited.

It is the culture where I work to go straight up to the top if you have a problem that you can't resolve or if you perceive that something is unfair. In most cases, people will go straight up without trying to resolve something on their level with their manager.

The one experience I have with this method of trying to get what I want is when the facility was having their regular blood drive. I advocated to have a bone marrow donor drive concurrent with the blood drive and this was executed at the cost of $25 per added donor. When I asked the drive organizer again at the next scheduled blood drive she said no because the cost of the donors (we turned out 6 at $25 each) came out of her budget and they couldn't afford it again. I looked for funding from donor web sites with no avail, so then I decided that I would organize a bake sale to raise the funding because it was not an astronomical amount to come up with. So I brainstormed with another employee who organizes bake sales and other sales, and I made up a cute flyer to promote my bake sale. After having done my homework, I went up to the assistant administrator with my flyer and presented my idea to him and asked if and where I could have the sale. His response without hesitation was that they will pay for it! No need for a bake sale [you silly little girl scout] . I was very pleased and although I understand budget constraints, it is a small amount of money for a good cause that they really should cover. (Plus it makes them look good in the community which is where their potential business is). So anyway, me going pretty close to the top in this situation worked for me :)

So one day, I hear that an aide from my department went to my big boss, the department head, because she thought her schedule was unfair. Despite her not taking up this issue with the supervisor who made the schedule, he took it seriously and gave it sufficient attention. So I decided that this type of performance is what gets attention and action and if that is what works for my big boss, I can play that game too. I sat on my request for a raise for 2 months with not too much care from anyone beyond initially so I decided I waited long enough. I wrote my big boss a well-written letter with a threatening undertone about how valuable I am, how efficiently I work and how I believe that at the least I should have the cost of the exam, $350 reimbursed to me promptly. I briefly brought up the possibility that he may not know what I do on the clinical side of the food service department since he is culinary trained...all the more reason to take my word for it that I am important :) I closed my letter by saying that I hope he doesn't view me as a disgruntled employee but as a firm advocate of myself :) So I kind of let my balls hang down and guess what happened? Big boss apologized for putting my requests aside and in the course of that Thursday and Friday he set up an expense report, signed off on it , had his district manager signed off on it and mailed it off.

I feel very empowered by words and I prefer to use my proficiency of composing a nice letter to my advantage whenever necessary. And although I think people should act because it is the right thing to do, this is not reality and many people act to try to prove something or because they are threatened. My direct boss is a wonderful person but she lacks a set of balls so I cant rely on her to advocate for me too much. I am pleased with my letter and the outcome of it and I will be pleased when I receive my check for $350 as well.

Pink Slips

I felt very down today - my work laid off 20 people. They held off for all this time without cutting staff, and now medical reimbursement has been cut again in New York so they absolutely could not meet their budget without lay offs. It is a lot of people and it just seems so cruel how these things are done - you tell someone as of today they no longer have a job. Go home. These people had no warning at all and now they have to go home and figure out what to do next. One man had been working there for 40 years! It wasn't based on performance or seniority. My only guess is that they wanted to eliminate certain positions and if you happened to have that unlucky title and be in that unlucky position, you lose. But unfortunately these things become political, and many times personal and I don't believe that every choice was well made and without bias. But that is life - at work, don't complain too much. You will be viewed as a nag and like you cant handle the work load. And make nice with your bosses. Like them or not, they hold the power to help you or hurt you. It is very advantageous to have a good demeanor and even keel temperament (though this wont always save you from misfortune, it sure can help). And lastly, be a bit intimidating. If you are a bit intimidating, for whatever reason, someone may be more afraid to do something to you for fear of your reaction. You may be intimidating because you are very intelligent, you are very serious, possibly unapproachable, or very attractive, or seem to know everyone and have some sort of upper hand at things. And in the back of someone's mind... these things may work in your favor.
I still have a job, and I deserve one, but I sure feel bad for all the others. In my department of 8 managers, one was laid off and I made my guess before this all happened as to the one of use I thought it would be and i was right. I know that ideally, it should have been someone else, but I know reality much better than idealism. Sometimes I have seen these types of things work out as a blessing in disguise, so lets hope that is the case for all 20 of my fellow coworkers.

Work Relationships

I have a friend at my work who is interesting and kind of crazy in a lovely, endearing way. She has a big head of curly black hair that matches her crazy personality. I am sometimes lacking in expression or enthusiasm in my normal temperament so crazy people lend themselves well to me. I have driven her into work on several occasions when she did not have a ride, and in a way I enjoyed my out-of-the-ordinary conversations in the car. She is a bit dramatic but she has a good, honest heart and she is a good person so I like her. He major problem is her son, who seems to think he rules her house and has absolutely no responsibility except to go out and enjoy himself at her expense. My friend is a bit naive because she had never engaged in any teenage, rebellious activities so when she tells me her 18 year old son came home at 3am and a girl slept over with him, I have to give her my realistic opinion of what her "baby" is doing up there with that cute girl in her house. The problem is that she gives him too much, and holds him accountable for nothing- she fills up the gas in his car, she buys him a new cell phone each time he looses his(of course he needs the fanciest one), she pays for his speeding tickets, on and on and he has no job. She feels bad for him, may feel guilty for stuff and can't seem to cut him off and follow through with any threats. Do you know - this kid had a $180 speeding ticket, which of course she left him the money for, and he told her he went to court and paid it. She called up the court to see what happened with the ticket and they told her it was dismissed. So that little brat lied and took her money!
Since I talk to her often about her son and try to advise her objectively, I came to realize that some people can truly hold it together and be effective at work, and then fall apart at home. My crazy friend is a perfect example of this - she is very good at her job (a social worker) - she manages behavior problems and is professional and compliant with all aspects of her job and remains pretty upbeat throughout. But at home she has lost all control of her son and herself. I asked her if she could have a rational conversation with her son without yelling or flying off the handle and she said no. So what you see at work is not necessarily what is carried over into that person's personal life - I think we're all just a level worse at home. So be very afraid of those people who cant even keep it together at work.
Funny enough a new dietitian started where I work and she was coming in real early wearing super cute dresses and quite high heels and was very energetic and enthusiastic - it was great! I thought, wow, we sure did hire a good asset to our team! And if I have ever been that enthusiastic to start a new job, it probably only lasted two weeks. Sure enough, Upbeat Dietitian is coming in at 9 now, wearing flats and sucking down caffeinated beverages because she is now tired like the rest of us! But I must say that the initial impression of the first 1-2 weeks is what sticks with you. You meet someone and decide upon what you think of them. So my brain registered her as "friendly and enthusiastic" and she was not afraid to ask anyone for any information that she may need to help her learn the way and do her job. So even as she is sleepy, not as dressed up, less eye opening make up and revealing a more realistic mood pattern, my first impression still resounds in me. Morale of the story - put it all out there for two weeks even if it is unnatural, so that people who are paying a heightened attention to the new person will take away that good impression forever more. It is hard to unprove someones first impression, so make it a good one!

Choices

In September I pursued a job that seemed perfect - Another catholic facility, similar size and a management position that is closer to home with on-site parking and more time off. I was excited and invested my mind into this position. I went on two lengthy interviews and negotiated the benefits/salary package until everything seemed to be in my favor. I accepted the job and felt relief that some of my burdens would be eased - I would have a bit more lee way with taking time off if my babies were sick, and maybe even time for myself :), I would have more time in my day with the hours, commute, parking, etc. It all seemed great until my husband saw his oncologist four days before my start date. I had called the financial people in his oncology dept. to check on the medical coverage before I accepted the position or even interviewed and they told me the health insurance that was offered at the new job was great and comparable to what we have now. After all, this is the paramount purpose of me going back to work. I thought that was squared away until his doctor firmly warned him that the new insurance is not good and would not cover the experimental treatment that he recently had with success. I didn't know what to make of this because the billing people told me coverage is good and now his doctor, who doesn't bill anything, tells Tom I should stay at the job I am at. I have been irritated with this doctor for other reasons so that put a bit of doubt in my mind. We wrote an email to the doctor that Monday night before my start date on Friday to try to get a bit more insight without sounding annoying and received back a one line email saying i should stay with the insurance we have now.
Tom didn't want to be the bad guy and squash my hopes but I could tell he thought turning down the job was the best choice. I had been very honest with my boss all along so I told her of my most recent debacle and she suggested I take a moment and go spend a few minutes in the chapel at my work. (She also gave me some homemade brownies because sometimes women need a little chocolate to think). And I tell you , I took her advice at a loss of any other idea, and I sat in that chapel and looked at Christ on the cross, and looked at the ceiling, and the walls, and the pews, and the architecture, and I thought. I guess I could have come up with this all myself but after being in that chapel in the quiet, it was so clear to me and there wasn't a doubt in my mind what I had to do. The right thing to do was to stay. I wanted this new job to work and I wanted all the pieces to fit, but in knowing that I made the right decision, I felt OK to make the decision that I finally made. I felt quite terrible to tell the new employer that I would not accept the job just two days before my start, I felt like I let them down - they took a chance on me, out of all the other applicants, they chose me and saw potential in me and I let them down. I was also disappointed that my relief would not be fulfilled, but I truly believed this was the right decision.
So I told the new job and they were upset but understanding at my honest excuse, and I told my current boss and she was very excited, but as the good friend that she is, she was disappointed for me.
In the chapel, the reading of that Tuesday was as follows:

Although they go forth weeping
carrying the seed to be sown,
They shall come back rejoicing,
carrying their sheaves.
Psalm 126:6
When I first sat down in the chapel, I read the reading of that day hoping to find some answer. What I took away from this wasn't my answer, but my belief that although I will go forward disappointed, it will all be fruitful in the end.

Morning prayer at work

I work in a catholic health care facility and because of that I am reminded of the faith that brought about the values of the organization. I am reminded not because everyone working there is catholic or acts like a good christian, but because there are crosses and saints hanging on the wall, there is a daily prayer announced every morning, and there are still a few sisters in administration that I see in the hall. I try to embody these values (that are not necessarily catholic, just emphasizing doing the right thing) when I am at work and am happy that the organization encourages all the employees to embrace them too. In thinking of how I can remind myself everyday to uphold a high level of respect for those patients and residents that I care for, I wrote myself a morning prayer.

Please carry me through this day

so that I feel calm, accomplished

and optimally rewarded at the days end.

Remind me that I work in

someone's home and

help me to act accordingly.

Help them to feel at home,

and help us to anticipated their needs.

Also, grant me the knowledge

and embody yourself in me today,

so that I can care for those

who cannot speak for themselves.

All of us have conflicts and concerns

to deal with outside of our work.

Help me to put them aside so

that I may be present in my work

and take on only the concerns of this moment.

If my work is interrupted

help me to handle myself

with grace.

Please give me the patience

to deal with difficult situations

and remain positive and controlled

through unfairness.

Allow me to turn my eyes to the window today.

As I take in the view and the

beautiful skyline, remind me that I am blessed-

Beauty is ubiquitous, and you are here.

And remind me regularly

that those who I care for now

were once in my shoes -

they were parents, spouses, employees and they struggled.

Today, they deserve my most graceful self

to care for them

in their home.