I might be moving.
And it's a blog unto itself to explore all the ideas that that brings up. But I recently asked a friend of mine if she ever moved around when she was younger and the conversation led to us sharing a story about our grandmas' and Snapple drinks.
I thought about how our stories define us when we are young and don't really know who we are yet. We meet someone new and tell them where we grew up, what nationality we are, what are parents do for a living. These things make up the superficial picture of us to a stranger. Well, I am arming my kids with lots of material to tell their strangers. One was born in the hard fast north and the other was born in the deep Cajun south. We moved once and now we're moving again - they will tell their strangers all about it and integrate all the pictures I'll be taking with the scant memories they'll have at these young ages. Hopefully they will say it made them stronger or more outgoing, or more fearless.
I might be giving them stories.
And when we pack our bags and say good by to this house that they started school in and get on the plane, I'll say, "Alright kids, let's make a story."
Friday, November 1, 2013
Domestic abuse and human expansion
I went to a domestic abuse vigil to support a friend of mine. And it was sensitive and triumphant and a simple beauty. I sat and observed and took in the night.
There were probably 20 total people there and one could assume that most of them have had a personal experience with domestic abuse, or like me they were supporting one who had. There was an older man sitting there who raised his hand and spoke at some point during the night and he offered up his lack of understanding about the whole situation and cycle. He didn't understand how you could love someone who hurts you, how you could stay with them - the whole thing really blew his mind. He told briefly of the solid, wholesome foundation of his nuclear family, and of his adoring relationship with his wife. This is what he knew and he admittedly did not understand the speakers, the survivors or the turmoil and grief.
I was surprised to hear a man come to a domestic abuse vigil to say that he didn't get how all this even went on and how these women could find themselves in this situation. Yet, I was silently grateful for his openness to admit his naiveté and in this forum. It's like going to a rally against cancer to say you don't get how people get cancer. After taking in his questions and responses, I regarded him as brave to have the conversations, and to attend the vigil. He engaged in something he didn't understand and when you put yourself beyond your comfort zone, it enhances you. And engaging yourself in something you don't understand expands humanity.
We tend to stay with what we know, and only by being thrown into an experience is how we experience it. But I think more of us should attend targeted groups and focused rallies. If I know nothing about Alaska, I should watch the show about law enforcement in Alaska. And if I care nothing for weddings, I should attend a bridal show. That is how I will expand myself. That is how I become more human - not by indulging in that which I already relish.
Kudos to the older man who can't grasp domestic abuse! He showed up, naïve and simple and all and he expanded himself.
There were probably 20 total people there and one could assume that most of them have had a personal experience with domestic abuse, or like me they were supporting one who had. There was an older man sitting there who raised his hand and spoke at some point during the night and he offered up his lack of understanding about the whole situation and cycle. He didn't understand how you could love someone who hurts you, how you could stay with them - the whole thing really blew his mind. He told briefly of the solid, wholesome foundation of his nuclear family, and of his adoring relationship with his wife. This is what he knew and he admittedly did not understand the speakers, the survivors or the turmoil and grief.
I was surprised to hear a man come to a domestic abuse vigil to say that he didn't get how all this even went on and how these women could find themselves in this situation. Yet, I was silently grateful for his openness to admit his naiveté and in this forum. It's like going to a rally against cancer to say you don't get how people get cancer. After taking in his questions and responses, I regarded him as brave to have the conversations, and to attend the vigil. He engaged in something he didn't understand and when you put yourself beyond your comfort zone, it enhances you. And engaging yourself in something you don't understand expands humanity.
We tend to stay with what we know, and only by being thrown into an experience is how we experience it. But I think more of us should attend targeted groups and focused rallies. If I know nothing about Alaska, I should watch the show about law enforcement in Alaska. And if I care nothing for weddings, I should attend a bridal show. That is how I will expand myself. That is how I become more human - not by indulging in that which I already relish.
Kudos to the older man who can't grasp domestic abuse! He showed up, naïve and simple and all and he expanded himself.
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