Friday, February 6, 2009
I wanted to share something I found very sweet. With Valentines Day coming up, a women's group nearby had arranged a "man panel" and I had the opportunity of listening in. The mediator went over a few questions and closed with a question asking the men what they think romance, or a romantic evening is. One of the panel members, whom I admired for his ease in expressing himself, said, "I may get in trouble for this but my view of romance is not the typical view - Romance to me is walking, holding hands... with my child between us. A child is the ultimate expression of romance and it is very special to be hand in hand with my child and my wife on her other side". I thought this was ridiculously sweet. In fact, for me a very special time with my husband is time we share together with our children. So much of life is taken up by routines and formalities - driving, eating, bathing, cleaning, cooking, shopping.... that to have time with my dear family, together, unstructured, just enjoying each other is ultimately special and actually romantic.
This man who said this was a lawyer, and good lawyers are inherently well spoken. But he seemed to be able to brush aside all the things that cloud us from the clarity in our mind and was then able to verbalize it. Often, people don't know what they are really, really thinking because they clutter up their thoughts with so many other distractions - pre-conceived notions, ulterior motives, hidden agendas, maintaining an image, protecting someone, etc. that we rarely say what we mean. It takes confidence, honesty and insightfulness to get to that point and I'd like to think I am getting there, and would love to continue to get as close to that as I am comfortable doing.
I believe you must be confident in what you believe and stand behind all that you do to be able to speak in this earnest way- if you don't believe in yourself, no on will believe you; and if you do believe in yourself, others will more likely gravitate to your view.