Discretion

I have decided to anonymously blog my thoughts on the infinitely expansive World Wide Web and even alter details to confound my immediate identity but I still use discretion in what I write. And I have realized that in life, I can’t think of anyone who lacks some amount of discretion. Think of someone like Ann Coulter who probably has become well known because of her lack of discretion and expressing her opinion – I bet you she exercises discretion if it benefits her selfishly – to maintain appointments, ratings, network or publisher mandates…something. Conan O’Brien was just booted off the tonight show by NBC and he made his thoughts about this known on some of the final shows. But on his very last episode, you could see that he changed his tone a bit. He left viewers with a very favorable image of him and this all worked out fantastically for him. After it was announced that he would no longer be in the Tonight Show time slot, his ratings went up incrementally to max out on the day of last show. And when a ton of people are watching, and others like me are listening to the radio updates the next day, he was humble, grateful for opportunities, serious and supposedly honest. He had to pull this experience together to make himself endeared to by the public by showing that bit of shame and disappointment that his show failed and put a positive and humorous twist on it because he knows his career is not likely over. There was a ton of discretion, and we must know in every scenario there is discretion. I never liked him that much, meaning that I never liked his show or thought he was very funny, but there is one thing he said on that last show that I liked very much. He said, “All I ask of you, especially young people, is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.. I’m telling you amazing things will happen”. I agree. This is life, this is reality and although the world may never be totally honest with you, if you work hard and do the right thing, good things will happen to you. And get rid of the idea that you are entitled to anything and appreciated everything. OK, so for a team Leno member, Conan managed to score some points with me and I’m sure I’m not alone in that – good for him!

Romance

I wanted to share something I found very sweet. With Valentines Day coming up, a women's group nearby had arranged a "man panel" and I had the opportunity of listening in. The mediator went over a few questions and closed with a question asking the men what they think romance, or a romantic evening is. One of the panel members, whom I admired for his ease in expressing himself, said, "I may get in trouble for this but my view of romance is not the typical view - Romance to me is walking, holding hands... with my child between us. A child is the ultimate expression of romance and it is very special to be hand in hand with my child and my wife on her other side". I thought this was ridiculously sweet. In fact, for me a very special time with my husband is time we share together with our children. So much of life is taken up by routines and formalities - driving, eating, bathing, cleaning, cooking, shopping.... that to have time with my dear family, together, unstructured, just enjoying each other is ultimately special and actually romantic.

This man who said this was a lawyer, and good lawyers are inherently well spoken. But he seemed to be able to brush aside all the things that cloud us from the clarity in our mind and was then able to verbalize it. Often, people don't know what they are really, really thinking because they clutter up their thoughts with so many other distractions - pre-conceived notions, ulterior motives, hidden agendas, maintaining an image, protecting someone, etc. that we rarely say what we mean. It takes confidence, honesty and insightfulness to get to that point and I'd like to think I am getting there, and would love to continue to get as close to that as I am comfortable doing.
I believe you must be confident in what you believe and stand behind all that you do to be able to speak in this earnest way- if you don't believe in yourself, no on will believe you; and if you do believe in yourself, others will more likely gravitate to your view.