Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Fate and Faith

I used to believe that everything happens for a reason, and I had a lot of faith in life and chance. I still do, but to an extent - I used to believe that everything happens for a reason until my husband got cancer, I don't know the reason for that. However, my faith in life does remain and I believe sometimes you are driven or inclined to do things for a reason.
At the church group I joined I learned of another woman who is in the same unfortunately unique situation that I am. In the world of blood cancers, some patients may require a bone marrow or stem cell transplant by harvesting their own cells, blasting them with chemo and putting the hopefully-cancer-free cells back in. If this fails, the patient may then need to have a transplant again but with a donor's cells. I met a woman who's husband just had his second transplant which is what my husband will require now. She is in the place that we will be in a few months... and I have so many questions.
When the director told me about this women, I stared at her in disbelief. I joined this group with a feeling that maybe this is a place where I will find a comfort and support, and I think I may in several ways.
I think to find people in similar situation as you can be very comforting after you realize you are not alone, however, it can be very worrisome as well. What if that person did not fare as well as you will end up and they give you undue fear, or vice versa? If both patients fare well, you may be the best of friends. If one does not, you will mourn for what could have been for you. Yet, you can be a tremendous support because you are still not alone...and may still be the best of friends.

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