When we were in Louisiana, Tom felt the node in his groin. A couple months after we moved down there and he started working, he felt the need to make an appointment with an oncologist there. After his appointment, the oncologist wanted to see if anything was going on so he ordered a PET/CT scan. After the scan, we stopped at the most wonderful mall in Houston near the medical center and walked around a bit before heading home. He saw some shoes in The Walking Co. store and he said he wanted to get them because they are supposed to be very comfortable - since he is standing and wearing a lead vest for much of the day, these would be great. He said he would hold off on getting them to wait and see what was going to happen, if he relapsed or not.
When we got engaged, Tom presented me with a beautiful ring. I, in turn, bought him a watch as an engagement gift. This is a tradition that I had no clue about but I guess some women will buy their fiancee an engagement gift, I suppose because a ring costs a lot of money and a nice gift for the man is appropriate. So I decided very easily upon a nice watch that I liked very much. When he got it he loved it as well, but he had some problems with the dial so he ended up taking it back and exchanging it for another watch. Since then, four years ago, he has always said that he would buy that watch again because he misses his "love watch".
So that day when we were home after this trip to the medical center, he made a comment again about that watch- that if everything is OK, he was going to buy it once and for all.
It truly pains me to recollect the feeling of this day because I was really doubtful that anything could be wrong. I thought he was a bit paranoid and I was inherently optimistic. We just moved across the country, Tom took his first job out of his training and after having Gabriella, I was 4 months pregnant with Marco. Of course this wouldn't happen now, how could it?
Needless to say, it did happen and that was the beginning of the next part of our journey on Life Parkway.
I ache that he didn't get that watch. And my attachment to that watch symbolizes health, marriage and his upbeat outlook. Each birthday, Christmas and Anniversary that has come since then has given me the idea over an over to re-buy this watch. But it is an expensive watch so it is not a necessary purchase, and I couldn't quite justify the expense.
Now I am working for the benefit of our team. Now Tom is working for the benefit of our team. And now, I bought that watch for his birthday next week. Yes I did. It is in the basement in its UPS box and I am going to take it out and wrap it up this week that Tom is away working and that watch will be back in our home again. I am not putting an inordinate amount of pressure on this watch to live up to its emotional value for me, but I sure do hope that its dial works this time.