Be Where you are

As I sing you to sleep,

I am missing holding your small body.

I haven't been a parent long,

but long enough to know

you grow too quick.

As I try to keep our dinner time under control

I am hating myself for not letting you

laugh and squeal and scream with happiness.

I am relatively young,

but old enough to know

innocent bliss doesn't last forever.

As I hustle you out of the house with me

and feel my patience dwindle

I know I don't have the time now-

but someday,

I will have all the time in the world

and I wont have you to share it with.

Each day I try to savor you. Each day I remind myself how precious each moment is. And as I foresee your growth I realize it is coming and the present is going and nothing like parenting can teach you the importance of being where you are. Unfortunately we realize this in retrospect. My daughter is 40 inches tall. She came out of me 21 3/8th inches long. By five she will have doubled her length - and that is slow compared to so many other aspects of her development. I guess this is why that Duggar family on TV has like 18 kids - the growth, the doubling and your job will never end. There certainly is a limit to my patience as a mother and I want to do a good job so 18 would not suit me well. I suppose I reflect on them because I love them so much and by the nature of it, my love must change again and again as they grow. And I love them more and more and more...