Love Run

My little boy doesn't realize how he fills me with bliss each day. When I pick him up from day care he comes running to me calling "mommy" with a huge smile on his face. Ever since he could walk, he has been running to me, never fail. As soon as he locks his eyes on mine and it registers that that person who walked through the door is in fact his mommy, he is instantly happy and running. It doesn't matter what I look like, what I smell like or what mood I'm in, I am his mommy and he loves me. Gabriella loves me too, but she has quit running to me long ago. If I get an excited run there is something behind it like competition with Marco, jealousy of my smile to Marco's love run or because she sees one of her friends run to their mother. Gabby loves me, but if something better is around, she is more interested in that. Maybe that means she is totally secure in me that she knows I will always be there for her when she is ready for me - you like how I can twist that around? I know this love run wont last forever, and I probably only have less than one year of it left with Marco, but I will enjoy every minute of it while I can. It is still a funny, wobbly run with legs swinging out a bit - it is the irresistible cute baby run that also disappears with the baby attachment. I love it all and it brings me infinite joy - maybe it's the consistency of it - I am guaranteed one child that is happy to see me when I return. With Gabby you never know what you are going to get - the I don't want to go home and stop playing whine, the jealous love, or the I'm so tired I can't follow directions child. She is difficult and Marco is consistant. But nevertheless, I love them both with equal devotion and intensity but this love is delivered in the different ways in which it is required.

The world beyond me

I have seen my very clingy infant become more confident and independent -(although still 75% dependant instead of 95%), and my toddler become more independent and opinionated. It seems that they both have realized that there is a world outside of me. I was there all the time, facilitating their interactions, monitoring them and providing only the stimulation that I had or could bring them to. Now they see there is life beyond me, West New York, NJ and our home base. And I, just as much, have realized there is something more to my world beyond them. I can help people, I can comfort people, I can develop social and professional relationships, I can drive with the music loud, I can run outside and enjoy that feeling of limitless freedom that running can give me, and I am so valuable that someone wants to pay me and give me health care, to be me! And still, I am so needed when I arrive back home, that my infant hugs me, crawls to me, and my toddler calls for mama and runs to me (at home, or after 6 o'clock at day care). It has been a nice realization for all of us, and I think we have all blossomed as individuals in our own way. I like working and I like that I now can let go of the desire to rush back to my kids right after work and allow myself to enjoy exercise. Maybe God made Gabby flip out before 6pm so that I can be a well-rounded, more fulfilled mama, or so that my husband can take on another important role in their day. Who knows, but I still know my kids better than anyone, and we are all pretty darn happy.

Choosing child care

The second part of my decision to take that job is the child care I found. I looked at many formal schools and day care centers and when it seemed I was not fully satisfied with what I found, my sister-in-law reminded me that I should look into licenced providers that run a day care out of their home. So I consulted a local classified flyer and found a woman who cares for children out of her home along with a couple staff members. I found them to be nurturing, kind, yet structured and I believe they will foster the children's individual growth. The atmosphere seems very much like home and both my children will be in the same place, in the same room in fact. This may provide them with security and me with comfort when I am away. It is difficult to find childcare to satisfy each individual parent's needs and sometimes it must come down to necessity or convenience or logistics for them that trumps the quality of childcare. But when I said this is all meant to be - it seems I have found it all. And I have seen some facilities I wouldn't dream of putting my children in. Some questions to ask are the following:
- is there frequent staff turnover
- where do the meals come from, what beverages are served
- security of the facility and outdoor area
- napping conditions
- is the TV used, if so how often
- is hand washing enforced both in staff and children
- do they teach responsibility -cleaning up toys, putting food, etc. in garbage
- what are the hours, are they flexible
- remember morning traffic- it may make a short distance unreasonable
- are there other fees- registration, meals, back-up care for vacations/off-weeks from school
- ask for references from parents with existing kids enrolled there, they will either affirm your gut instinct or bring up other concerns you should work out first, or give another perspective
- does your child enter willingly, speak of their experience positively
- spend time with your child in the center/home and if you have the means, allow your child to spend a couple hours there alone before you start them full time
- does the center/home have an evacuation plan or emergency plan and transportation
- do they take field trips- if so how (on earth) is this executed
- speak with the specific teacher/care giver that will be with your child's age group
- try negotiating the cost, esp. with more than one child
Most importantly, walk inside. Spend some time there, listen to the interactions between staff and children and between the staff members, visit often at different times of the day. You will probably get a feeling, weather good or bad rather quickly, but all the "data collection" so to speak will help to make you more comfortable and confident when you are away.
When you are comfortable with where your kids are, you will be able to do your job well and continue to be a good mother when you return to them. And remind yourself that they are enjoying several fresh faces during the day and this is probably better than you on your crabby days!