A to Z Reflection, atozchallenge

Again, this year, I felt under pressure to get the posts completed for the 26 days. I find if you don't write them ahead of time and then post on the day of, it doesn't work too well. I don't believe I put my best creative foot forward with this challenge and I completed it, mostly, to just keep my word and commitment. But that is not what writing is for me. I have a job and a family and I write as a form of expression and creativity. I don't write to get noticed and I don't make much advertising money from blogging. I felt a sense of falseness when other bloggers would visit my blog in a 'scratch my back, I'll scratch yours' gesture. I did make one brief, genuine connection with another blogger, but all in all, this felt too much like inauthentic marketing, and life is too crowded and too busy to pass by opportunities to be genuine, while instead engaging in activities that don't help me grow, flourish or help someone else. I don't think my blogging enriched anyone else's life, and for me, my enjoyment didn't outweigh the nagging feeling that my time could be better spent in a way that connected to others more authentically.

Sorry if my reflection is not very favorable. How could my opinion be changed? I suppose better blog categories could help - I would jump around the list to find blogs to visit, as part of the obligation, but many blogs weren't pertinent to my interests and some had topics that were so diverse and specific, which is totally ideal in the blog world, but not enjoyable for me to visit. Likewise, I bet many of my visitors didn't find mine very interesting! So if all of us bloggers could have a better idea about content, or have a matching system to make blog reading better, and make our own blogs a better experience for readers who are interested, the whole challenge would feel better.

Introductory Thoughts

I don't know what I would be or where I would be had I not made the choices I did or fell in love with the man I did, but the path I have led will continually bring me closer to who I am. I find myself 27 years old with two kids, two houses, no job and a husband.
In the past year, I moved across the country twice had another baby and watched my husband battle with chemotherapy. If I were a newspaper, my front page would be headlined by the topic of cancer, closely followed by parenting. Back in section D, page 12 is the me that I knew about 3 years ago. This is not something I am upset or resentful about, it is just a fact of my life. However, the education as a dietitian and Master's that I received can never be taken from me and are never lost. Therefore, I may revisit them and my other various talents when time and life permits.
Oprah said something that could be summarized to say that going through hardship and tragedy helps you to find yourself, your spirituality, and grow as a person. I agree with this in general and of myself because as you are faced with hardship you must reach within yourself for your coping mechanisms, humility and true compassion - you never want someone else to experience what has pained you. On the road to these things, you will no doubt bump into pain, anger and feelings of unfairness and stress. But I repeat in my head the thoughts of F.Scott Peck when he said that bad things happen and it is almost normal for them to happen. It is not that you are unlucky if they do, but that you are lucky if they don't.
I plan to blog about our life thus far and that going forward. I write with far more ease than I speak so this is a well-suited outlet for me.
Thank you for your attention this this site. Please note that this blog site is organized chronologicly so go to the Archive section to your right to view my posts from the oldest going forward.