The Old Lady's Hangover

So I ate Asian food and went to bed late last nite and now I feel hung over. I am tired, my eyes are dry, I feel dehydrated, and because I was wearing high, uncomfortable heels, I feel like a small truck ran me over. My gosh, I am not twenty anymore. In fact I am almost 30. My friend who swam the rough water of her 30th birthday a month ago told me, "That's OK -30 is the new 40!" To which I reassured her - "No it's not. 30 is 30 and it means your not in your 20s anymore". And there is no smoothing that over. Grey hairs come out, wrinkles form, my boobs sag (or is that because of nursing), I can't go out at night without having to pick at blisters, put hydrating drops in my eyes and self medicate with coffee, water and Tylenol. And, despite feeling similar to the after effect of a night out from when I was in those fond earlier years, I did not drink a drop of alcohol, but feel similarly hung over. Yup, I'm just about 30. All I need is to enjoy the new reduced rate of metabolism and not be able to tolerate fun spicy foods or staying up past 10pm and I am officially done. Still, though I had a night out like a true middle aged mother with my darling husband, I looked cute doing it! (as painful as it may or may not have been)...because I am still not wearing mom jeans and cutting my hair boy short, so I guess I can pull it off...for now!